Off-Campus Winners:

1. Holy Broman Literary Society Presents: Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand J** with 1376 points. Their prize, following tradition, was something breakable. This year it was an unopened can of Red Dog beer, smashed on the ground at the awards ceremony.

2. The Cailloutastrophe: Her p***y bald like Caillou, Swag-Swag like Caillou, I’m good, (buddy) how you?, Go way back like Caillou, Hat back like Caillou, I dont match like Caillou, My weed young like Caillou, Go dumb like Caillou, I’m PBS like Caillou, DTF like Caillou, My d*** fresh like Caillou, She get wet like Caillou, The realest in it like Caillou, I dig in it like Caillou, Bad bee, go suck d***, Need 30 minutes like Caillou, I’m up early like Caillou, She get dirty like Caillou, She ain’t worthy, I’m Caillou, I’m nerdy like Caillou, I’m young as hell like Caillou, Don’t fail like Caillou, I go for it like Caillou, F*** Dora, Caillou with 1358 points.

3. Hobgoblins of Little Minds with 1313 points.

1. Team Drinking in the Lounge, Officially Recognized as Quizball, with a special performance by J.C. Smith and the Sunshine Band debuting their new single “All Walk and No Talk” featuring the musical stylings of Marky Mark, David Bell, and Lin-Manuel Miranda; Don’t Injure Thine Leg, Diligently Inquiring Thoughtful Lagrangian, Definitely Investigating Typical Lynxes, Death Invites the Living, Darkness Infiltrating Trembling Light, Forever Haunted by the Ghost of David and the Bells with 1284 points. Prize was the ripped-off leg of a monkey stuffed animal.

2. Homemaker, Wife and mother to 3 beautiful children. I love to plan, budget and decorate. My goal is to be my best and a great testimony for (construction worker turned academic turned central banker. opinions here are my own, not pete willis said nor said reserved system) with 1153 points.

3. Cult of the Pink Shoes with 1110 points.

Total off-campus players: 522

Total on-campus players: 164

Total players: 686

Total number of questions asked: 360

Total possible points: ~1800

First Garuda – 10min, 50pts – Written by TM Madeira Seaman ’18

Q: This museum will make you feel “happy to be alive.” In the room of this museum containing illustrations of by serial killers, there is a poster that lists the top ten serial killer pet peeves. According to this specific print of the poster, what is the #1 serial killer pet peeve?

A: “Move Silence of the Lambs – not as funny as the book”

Teams answering correctly: Teams 4, 5, 12, and 166 each answered the first garuda for 50 points!

Second Garuda – 20min, 100pts – Written by TM (now HM) Jenny Hanrahan ’18

Q: On October 22, 2016, a 1996 Grammy winner performed in Pune City, Maharashtra. In the performance venue sits a waffle stand. When Ankit Goel paid a visit to this stand in July of 2016, what did he have to say about his experience?

A: “I am so grumpy still your waffles make me go 🙂 ooo . . ooo :)”

Teams answering correctly: None, total off- and on- campus shutout.

Super Garuda – 30min, 200pts – Written by TM Kyle Labak ’17

Q: A number of Lawrentians have taken trips to China to study sustainability. In the third city visited on their 2015 trip, there is a bar on the tenth floor of a building near the intersection of Minquan Road and Fushui North Road. In the fifth issue of a ‘zine they distributed last July, which features a pink robot on the cover, what artist is shown on page eight?

A: “Dickid”

Teams answering correctly: None, total off- and on- campus shutout.

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Long live Jack Bhour.