Survey Results #27: Humorous, Intelligent Apple Pies

If the incoming class of Lawrentians were all pies, they’d be humorous, intelligent apple pies.

There’s a lot of interesting things you all had to say about pies and strange foods. Before we get to that, though, it’s worth giving you the link for Bon Appetit, the food service company that will be cooking you all sorts of delicious pies…and hopefully not many of the strange foods you reported eating or feeding people.

It really is an intriguing, interesting site. For example, if you click the “environment” tab, you can find out the difference between grass-fed, natural and industrial beef…among other interesting things.

So, back to the pies. First, 47 of you responded with some sort of joke. Some of our favorite jokes were:

– I’d be wondering how I became a pie.

– I wouldn’t be able to answer this question.

– I would not be capable of conscious thought…but I would taste SOOOOO good.

Equally interesting was the 33 of you who responded intellectually. Many of you crafted nifty plans to avoid being eaten. We considered that intellectual…it’s just good to think about self preservation if you ever find yourself to be a tasty baked good. Especially when you’re coming to a college campus. Here are the intellectual highlights:

– I’d be wondering how I became a pie.

– I’d be larger but unevenly sliced. (Sorry to bring economics into this!)

– I would be so disgusting so I wouldn’t be eaten.

– I would sit on a table and not move, because no matter how hyped up they are, pies are still inanimate objects.

– I probably couldn’t process the conditional ‘if’.

– I should grow two legs and run for my life.

After that, the most popular response was “apple.”

So, here are the top five edible responses.

1 – Apple Pies

2 – Strawberry Rhubarb Pies

3 – Chocolate Pies

4 – Pumpkin Pies

5 – Cherry Pies

Besides that, there are some things you should know about your fellow incoming Lawrentians. They are willing to eat some strange things. Here’s what we found the most interesting:

– The peanut butter sandwich I found in the locker room.

– I tried the cinnamon challenge. A tablespoon of cinnamon.

– I drank a mixture of sprite, pepper, chicken, biscuits, broccoli, sour cream…

– I’ve had a goat’s brain. It actually tastes good when it is cooked in a Pakistani way!

– A Costa Rican flower that made my face numb.

– Barbeque crickets.

– Fried ants.

– A slice of the World’s Biggest Cupcake.

– A McRib.

Although it does get more worrisome than what you’ve eaten, here are some of the things you’re willing to feed to other people:

– Soy sauce shots.

– Ketchup and mustard-covered marshmallows.

– The French fry of doom. A fry covered in multiple alternating layers of ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, salt and pepper. It did not go down well.

– A live cicada.

– A lie, perhaps?

– Cinnamon cheeseburgers. Better than you’d think…

– Coke bacon.

It’s important to tell you…besides the list of pies, nothing mentioned here will be served in the campus center.

(At least, not by us!)

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